So frustrated

One of the many things on my knitting to do list this year is to design more knitted goodies but man I'm having a tough time.  I don't remember it being this hard.  You see I'm so indecisive these days.  I'll research for hours finally finding that thing or stitch that inspires and then I have to choose the yarn which also takes me forever.  Why? I have no idea!  I am one of those knitters where the yarn has to speak to me and tell me what it wants to become.  Crazy yes!  After I find, what I think is the perfect yarn, I swatch and I'm hating the swatches.   It's too bulky, there isn't enough stitch definition, the color is wrong, the stitch doesn't match the color or yarn, insert excuse here ____________.  I'm about to throw I my sticks for a few days.  Seriously!  (Only the designing sticks not knitting altogether because that would be just crazy zyyy!)

Whoever said designing is easy is nuts!  There is so much more involved than choosing a pattern and yarn.  So much more.  Well, at least for me.  It's an arduous process somedays and super frustrating even BEFORE I start knitting.  So many decisions have to be made and I'm letting my brain get the best of me.   I'm over thinking this and I have no idea how to stop myself.   Self. Stop. Please. Stop. Ughh.  

I'm sure most designers, me included, are trying to make something new, something different something exciting that hasn't been used before or in this certain way.  No one sets out wanting to make something that's just okay.  The pressure of it all, the decisions has made me batty.  I feel like the whole day has been wasted. Well, if I look on the bright side, I have a few design ideas to cross of my list and only a million more to go.  

Throwing in my sticks for today and taking a step back.  I hope everyone is having a better knitting day than I am.